Collapse into me, tired with joy (desire_billy) wrote in lotrporn,
Collapse into me, tired with joy

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Mt First RPS

Title: Tortured Life
Author: desire_billy
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG
Feedback: Please
Summary: Dom and Billy miss each other

Dom left four months ago to find his way in LA. But he still wanted Billy. He tried to call Billy a few times, but he couldn't do it. How could he have left Billy? He was everything to Dom. Friend, lover and most of all the love of his life. He hated himself for being so damn selfish. The pull and promise of fame and fortune had taken him away from his beloved Bills.

Billy had said he understood, but his heart felt differently. Two years of his life had been spent with Dom as more than just friends. He knew Dom had to do this or he would never forgive himself or Billy. He knew he was right in letting Dom go, but why had Dom not contacted him since he left? Wasn't I everything to him? Didn't he tell me that so many nights while I held him close? How could he forget?

Dom had to hear Billy's voice. Feel his touch. Oh God his touch! Those beautiful hands that knew just where to touch Dom. Dom began to breath heavy just at the memory of those light, barely there touches Billy used to give him early in the morning. "I'll just call him; tell him I'm sorry, that I love him and need to be near him again", Dom thought.

It's 2am and Billy can't sleep. Why are his thoughts of Dom so strong? "You are a strong man Billy. Just move on mate", he thought. He was trying to convince himself of this so strongly he did not hear when the phone rang. When he finally heard it, his first thought was of Dom. "Dear God please please let it be".

"I know it's late, but he has to be there", Dom was saying to himself. All of the sudden a terrible, gut wrenching thought invaded his brain. What if he has a new lover there? No, no no. I can't handle that. Hang up, hang up, his heart screamed at him. He slammed the phone down on the seventh ring.

Billy ran to phone and picked up the receiver saying, "Dom, Dom is it you Dom?". Nothing. No one there. Only the cold silence and stillness his heart felt. I can't go on like this he thought. I have to do something. Something. What, he did not know. All he knew was he needed to talk to Dom, no, he needed to see him. Look at his face, his eyes, those lips. I don't care if it destroys me, he thought, I have to finish this.

Dom woke the next morning feeling sick. Alone, unemployed and sick. "Well, this certainly was worth losing Billy over wasn't it, dumbass?", his mind asked him. He closed his eyes and fell back into a cold and lonely sleep. He woke a few hours later to the sound of Billy's voice calling his name. "Dom? Dommie it's me Billy. Please please let me in.". Dom sat up knowing this was only his mind being cruel to him. "Stop it, stop it!", he screamed as he placed a pillow over his head to try and drowned out the sound of his mind.

"Dom? Dommie it's me Billy. Please please let me in." Billy was almost frantic that Dom would not answer the door. Was that his voice? What? What did he say? I have to make him tell me he does not love me anymore or I will NEVER get on with my life he told himself. In his efforts to get Dom to answer the door, Billy had tried the door knob. It turned and reveled Doms new life. Emptiness. An old sofa too small for the room. A large standing lamp and a tv on the floor. Pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn about on carpet that had seen better days. Billy felt a jab of pain to his heart as he entered the room. "Was this what Dom left him for?".

Dom sat up feeling like he had to get out of bed and try to make sense of his life. He got out of bed and put on his tan shorts that Billy had given him on his last birthday. Billy had said his ass looked incredibly "bitable" in them. Dom smiled at the memory of this. He opened the bedroom door to enter the living room. He took two steps over the threshold and lost his breath.

Billy was trying to hold back the tears he felt in his eyes when the door across the room opened. Billy felt his heart seize up. He couldn't breathe. All he could say was, "Dommie. Please, Dom, please.". He looked into Doms eyes and saw his world opening back up. There was the look that he had missed and needed so desperatley.

Dom thought at first he was dreaming. Billy. Billy was there looking at him with thoses eyes that could burn through him. He opened his mouth to say something but he realized he wasn't breathing. He took a deep breath as Billy said,"Dommie. Please, Dom, please". Dome felt his face smile. The first smile he had felt in four months. No, he wasn't dreaming. Billy was there, asking for him. Dom didn't feel his legs moving, but yet he knew he was walking towards a better life, the life he knew he needed.
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